Nurse life- reflecting on nurse week

This year will be 9 years since I graduated nursing school (right? Can I still even math?) which I find utterly crazy.... I've been out of college almost double the time I was in ( don't try and math, I took the long route) 

When I first started out I had no idea who I was, who I wanted to be. Job offers were thrown at me from every interview I went on. I struggled with that because I didn't know! Part of me feels like I chose wrong, but like everything else, it led me to who I know and where I am today. Any other choice could have led me down a different path. So I chose pediatrics. I hated my work. I felt like I didn't know anything. How can these lives be in my hands? I'm not ready. Then came the huge problem with hospital work in general- overworked, understaffed, and underpaid. Every single day I resented the understaffed part. Stretched thin. "But there's a shortage of nurses" "they need you" I was unhappy. 

Next I tried my hand at mother baby 👶🏼... gotta be like Disney world and the happiest place on earth right? All the new moms and new babies, no one dying??? Wrong. I liked it for a while but I really felt as though I was not using the skills I went to school for. I know someone's gotta do it, and I'm not putting down this nursing job, but it wasn't my feel good. And the environment was no good for me either. But again, it was part of the journey. 

Death. Death scared me as a young nurse. Don't tell me someone died. I can't handle it. I was wrong about that too. Almost two years ago I finally found my calling. Home health. Mostly elderly patients but patients of all age ranges. I did not think I would love this group as much as I do. As much as I love my patients, I also love my coworkers. Never have I had coworkers across the board who care as much as me. I have lost more patients than I can sit here and tell you about. Yes that makes me sad, but what a rewarding career I've chosen that I did everything I could to make that easier on them while they are still at home, as much dignity intact as possible. Some are in my life for only a short while and others become like family. They treat me like family. It makes my heart so happy. 

Every day there is stress. Every day something new is added on. Every day I don't know what I could be walking into. I see people from all walks of life, no matter what, I am their advocate. 

Happy nurses week to all nurses and soon to be nurses. You are appreciated.